How to Be A Decent Human Being: Reply to How to Meet Shy Girls

I recently received a tweet saying, “So this is a truly disgusting article. And it’s begging for a parody.” It linked to an article entitled “How to Meet Shy Girls” written by a misogynistic, racist, pathetic pile of a human being. Sometimes the stupidity of a fellow human angers me. Sometimes I want to grab that fellow human by the back of the head and repeatedly smash their forehead into a desk made entirely of common decency. Sometimes I just want bad things to happen to them. (It’s not very charitable I know, and I feel bad for wanting that, but sometimes I really do want it.) Reading this article just made me depressed. I want to show these people how wrong they are, but it feels so pointless. I do feel that some response is justified, so that’s what you’re getting here.

Let me explain this article to you as best I can. The gist of it is as a man you don’t want a woman who will be anything but entirely beneath you in every way. I’ll give you a small glimpse at the filth spewed by the sad excuse for a human being who wrote this. It ends with this thought, “When you finally do get in you’ll have the pleasure of saying, into her ear, ‘you’re my property now’.” If you feel anything less than revulsion and disgust at that, I don’t think I want to be your friend. There are people who are worth being friends with, even though they have faults, and there are people who provide no value to your life at all. I don’t know the man who wrote this article, but I feel that he is one of the latter.

Like this guy, only not good at expectorating.

Like this guy, only not good at expectorating.

This man describes the woman he wants like this, “If you are to have a girlfriend you should have one who helps you out and brightens your day, not one who is argumentative, bitchy, whorish or ‘feminized’.” This is a valuable point. A relationship, especially such an intimate one, should by all means brighten your day and help you out. And a partner who is argumentative, bitchy, or whorish is not a partner you want. I take issue with the idea that a ‘feminized’ woman must be any of these things. I won’t go into it except to say I take issue with that notion because it is simply not true. A much greater defect with this statement is its utterly juvenile one-sidedness. Call me crazy, but I truly believe if you want your partner to help you out you should also help her/him out. If you want a partner who brightens your day, it might not be too much to ask for you to brighten his/her day as well. If you don’t want your partner to be argumentative then I’d suggest not picking fights. This is one of the great issues with this whole piece. As previously shown, this is advice only to men about what type of woman to pick out at market. It says nothing about how if a man wants to find a good woman, he should make himself worthy of her affections as well. Overall, this is simply a selfish, childish view of the world and one person’s place in it.

Now, I understand some of the feelings which compelled the author to compile this garbage, but that doesn’t make it right. I understand the lust which drives date rapists to do what they do. That doesn’t make it right either. Everyone has the same basic feelings. We like to feel powerful, in control, loved, appreciated, useful. These are noble virtues which we should all strive toward. However, there are good ways to go about that, and there are bad ways. The author of the article suggests men should hunt women as prey (his words) and claim one as a possession. Let me be clear: THIS IS THE WRONG WAY TO FEEL GOOD! If you want to feel powerful do not, I repeat, DO NOT subjugate another human being to your will. This is shallow power, and it makes you a dick. (Although, to be fair, you were probably a dick before you actually subjugated anyone.) If you want to feel powerful, don’t find someone you can protect as your property. Be able to protect someone who might need it even though you have no claim on them at all. If you want to feel useful, don’t find someone who can’t function on their own. Make yourself available for use when it is needed or wanted. If you want to feel appreciated, be a decent human being and others will appreciate you for it. Lastly, if you want a good woman you can share your life with, don’t hunt her down, capture her, and subjugate her to your will. Be a good man who a good woman would be lucky to be with, and when you meet one develop a relationship based on mutual respect and admiration.

I don’t want to argue with the man, who is so clearly wrong, because I feel he is worthless. Let me say that again for emphasis; I feel like the author of this article is completely worthless as a human being. I don’t want to feel that way. I would like to love this person, and give him a hug and tell him there are good girls out there who are strong and independent and that’s okay. I would like to tell him he can find a good woman who can help him be a better person, and more importantly, who he could help be a better person too. I want to feel that way, but I don’t. I feel like he is not worth the effort it would take to help him be better, and that’s a really bad way to feel. I don’t want to completely write someone off. I generally want to help people see things my way (read: the best way), or at least help them grow by letting them show me how I might be wrong. After reading only a few paragraphs of this article, I tweeted back at my friend, “This guy’s not worth our time and effort.” It’s why I don’t feel angry at this article, just sad.

Here’s a link to the article. I don’t recommend clicking this link, but at least now you should be prepared for what you’ll find if you choose to do it anyway.

http://boldanddetermined.com/2012/11/29/how-to-meet-shy-girls/

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3 responses to “How to Be A Decent Human Being: Reply to How to Meet Shy Girls

  1. I like your open sharing of your reaction to this article. I won’t read it. But I’m glad you did, just so that you would write this piece. You have shared some good thoughts.

  2. I agree this guy isn’t worth our time and that there’s no hope in enlightening him about the error of his ways. Your brief quotes don’t even begin to touch upon how horrifyingly offensive his post is.

    My concern is that he’s spewing this attitude forth and potentially infecting other men with this attitude. He can’t be changed. But I wish he could be shut up.

    • I agree absolutely. This thing has 13,000 likes on Facebook, and as bad as the article is the comments are much worse. I want to slap all these people silly and scream common sense at them until they get it, but I don’t think anything could get through. Like you say, it would be nice if they could at least be shut up. Unfortunately, that’s never going to happen either. Thankfully though, decent people will also influence others to keep being better.

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